Are We Not Ducks?

 

Day after day, I have to cart the Ducklings to and from daycare, Duckling2 also has to go to the local school 4 days a week, so I'm driving all over the place in a typical week (I'll be damned if I get one of those “soccer ball” stickers on the Saturn, let alone the Aztek).

Driving around, I have to keep the Ducklings amused or entertained in their seats, otherwise they start getting antsy and wiggle out from under their seat belts. So I would put NPR on the radio and bore them even further (making them even more restless). Next I would try the entire arsenal of kids' music CD's, first some Cedarmont Kids, then a local “kiddie musician” CD, followed by some Disney music CD's, Barney, and The Wiggles.

But I can only stand “Hot potato, hot potato!” and “Fruit Salad…Yummy, Yummy” for only so long.

Maybe I'll just play the stuff I like, as I got a few dozen CD's, but not all of them are considered appropriate for young ears. So I'll try popping in a few DEVO CD's (about the least tasteless of the bunch) and see what happens.

Well, only after a few days, I discovered that was too much:


Duck: Supper's ready! Let's eat! Come into the kitchen!
Duckling1: Daddy, what's an “uncontwollable urge”?
Duck: Uh…
Duckling2: WIPPET! WIPPET GOO!
D1: Daddy, he's doing it again!
Duck: Huh?
D2: WIPPET! (Dances like Curly of the Three Stooges)
Duck: Oh, well that doesn't seem to be too bad.
D1: Daddy, <D2> is wearing a flower pot on his head.
Duck: Huh?
D2: WIPPET! COW! PIK PUSSYCAT!
Duck: Uh-oh…
D1: Wet's dance! (Both ducklings dance around like Curly)
Duck: If only I had played Ozzy instead…
D1: Peek-a-boo! I can see you…and I KNOW what you do.
D2: SO PUT YO HAN ON YO FACE!
D1: And cover up your eyes! Don't wook until I signal!
D1 and D2: PEEK-A-BOO! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!
Duck: I think we really ought to have supper…
D2: I CAN GET NO…SATEE-FAK-ON!!!
D1: An' I twy…an' I twy…an' I twy, twy-twy-twy-twy-twy-twy TWY!
D2: I CAN GET NO…SATEE-FAK-ON!!
Duck: Um….have a banana, <D2>!
D2: AW WE NOD MAN?
D1: We are DEVO!
D2: AW WE NOD MAN?
D1: Dee-ee-vee-oh!!!
D1 and D2: OKAY WEZ GO!!!
Duck: How about some juice?
D2: PIK PUSSYCAT! MEOW!
D1: Daddy, what's a “mongowoid”?
Duck: Not now, dear, want some carrots?
D1: Not till you tell me what a “mongowoid” is…
D2: WIPPET! WIPPET GOO!
D1: Do we have another flower pot so I can wear it on MY head?
Duck: Uh, no. We need to finish supper before Mommy comes home.
D2: KWACK DAT WIP!!!
D1: Daddy, <D2> spilled his milk. He made a BIG MESS. He wuz willy messed up!!!
D2: GO! GO! GO
SPEED WAY-SAA!
Duck: Finish your banana, please.
D2: DAT'S GOO!!!! WIPPET! COW!
D1: Daddy, you haven't told me what a “mongowoid” is.
Duck: And I'm not going too, either.

<Door opens>

D1, D2, Duck: HI, MOMMY!
MrsDuck: Oh, just finishing supper?
D2: JOCKO HOMO! AW WE NOD MAN? JOCKO HOMO! PIK PUSSYCAT!
D1: I got bwains and I WIKE SECKS!
MrsDuck: Just WHAT have you been teaching the kids now!?

I just sit there, shaking my head, both ducklings running around with flowerpots on their heads, and Duckling1 wearing a pair of swimming goggles…

 

 

 

 

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