Madness With Ducklings!

The Scene:

Last weekend, watching some mindless TV, flipped the channel to VH1. Duckling1 (<5 years old) and Duckling2 (<3) are playing in the same room.

All of a sudden, a video starts with a dumbfounded guy sitting up in bed:

Hey you!!!
Don't watch dat! Watch this!


Duckling1 jumps up, scared, thinking someone was shouting at her.

This is the heavy heavy monster sound,
the nuttiest sound around.
So if you've come in the off the street,
and you're beginning to feel the heat,
well listen, Buster, you better start to move your feet,
to the rockinest, rock steady beat of Madness...
ONE STEP BEYOND!!!


Duck jumps up and starts the Madness "strut" from "One Step Beyond"...

D2: COW?
D1: Whatcha doin', Daddy?
Duck: It's Madness!

D1 and D2 look at Duck as though he was wearing a stuffed marmot on his head.

Duck: ONE STEP BEYOND!
D1: ONE STEP BEYOND!
D2: WON TEP YAWN!!!!! MOO!

D1 starts to figure out how to "strut" behind Duck and shout "ONE STEP BEYOND" at random moments.

<...strutting...strutting...strutting...>

D1: ONE STEP BEYOND!
D2: WON TEP YAWN!!!! WHEE! COW?
Duck: ONE STEP BEYOND!!!

D2 bops around the living room, D1 proceeds to play air-saxophone...

<...strutting...strutting...strutting...>

Soon the music ends and I have two tired ducklings.

D1 then wanders into our office/den and sneaks up behind MrsDuck and shouts:

Hey you!!!
Don't watch dat! Watch this!


MrsDuck jumps, falls out of her desk chair and wonders what the f*** did Duck teach the kids now?


 
"One Step Beyond" (CopyrightŠ C. Campbell, Madness, 1979)

 

Story Copyright 2003 www.misterduck.net