Gone In 60 Ducklings!
left on Friday to fly to
Party on, Duckling1!
Party on, Duckling2!
Friday night was uneventful, we were all just resting in anticipation to a busy Saturday. That, and we had my mother-in-law’s dog, Sh*thead, staying with us (never a dull mo
Saturday morning starts off (at 5-freaking-AM!) with Sh*thead nudging
After taking Sh*thead out to do her business, I crawl back into bed, only to be awakened less than one hour later with a banana in my face! Duckling2 is up, hungry, and wants
D2: PEE-YO BANANA?
Duck: Oh, okay...
D2: TANK OOO! COW!
I get up, mostly because D2 will still be hungry and will be finding other things to peel and eat, like apples, potato chip bags, and Sh*thead's bag of dogfood.
Later, Duckling1 wakes up, at least having the good sense of waiting until after sunrise to wake up. We eat, play around the house, and chase Spot, The Evil Wonder Cat under all the furniture. This continues until it's ti
A ballet class for five-year-olds is nothing more than having two skinny teenagers lead a dozen little girls, all wearing pink synthetic outfits that require crowbars and Vaseline to put on, into running, leaping, and kicking feet high up in the air, with all the gracefulness of a bull moose tap-dancing in a puddle of axle-grease. Or at least the bull moose had a better chance of receiving an invitation to an audition with the Bolshoi than these little girls. This continues on for forty-five minutes, in which I've already chased Duckling2 up and down the hallway outside the dance studio about 1,378 ti
We leave the dance studio, drive by a McDonalds, pick up a couple Happy Meals, then head ho
The Ducklings resu
We head outside to the back yard, along with Sh*thead, and it beco
We have supper, Spam and Eggs (D1 likes Spam and D2 likes eggs), but D2 crawls away from the kitchen and falls asleep on the couch. It's only Hmmm... Maybe I oughta put him in bed! So I put him in bed and hope that he sleeps all night. There's a Scooby-Doo marathon on TV, so D1 is camped out in front of the kitchen TV for the evening.
Ahhh...I can rest. About half a year ago, I bought the Nicholas Cage movie, Gone In 60 Seconds, with the assumption that I'd watch it so
Duckling2 is now wide awake, and it's about 9PM. Shoot. He won't be tired for a good long ti
Duck: Look! Car goes VROOM!
D2: VROOM! VROOM! COW?
<Police car gets hit by a bus.>
Duck: Look! CRASH!
D2: CAR KWASH! COW?
D2 and I sit glassy-eyed, watching the most violent and destructive part of the whole movie....and enjoying every minute of it!
<Three cars explode simultaneously...>
Duck: Look! Cars go BOOM!
D2: BOOM! BOOM! COW! BOOM! MO CARS GO BOOM! KWASH!! MO CARS GO BOOM! COW! COW! COW!
D2 is jumping up and down on the couch in glee. If that ain't male bonding, I don't know what is.
Sh*thead nudges my arm with her cold nose: WAAAAA! Oh, you want to go outside?
I take Sh*thead out walking her on a leash. She does nothing. We go back in.
She nudges her nose in my arm again. I take her out again. Again, she does nothing.
WTF? She nudges
Duck: WAZZA matter with you, Dog? Go away!
Sh*thead poops on the dining room floor. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out that the dog didn't want to poop in front of
I shove the dining room rug into the washer and head back to see what the Ducklings are doing. D1 is still watching Scooby-Doo, glassy-eyed and in a half-conscience trance. In the living room, D2 had fallen asleep as the local news ca
I carry both Ducklings up to bed, and they're out like a light. But it's . Well, at least I have the big TV all to myself now.
I fall asleep in my La-Z-Boy 5 minutes later.
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