Frequently Asked Silly-@$$ed Questions

Hey, this site looks BORING! Where's the fancy Flash intro? Where's the funny graphics?:
If you're one of those poor b*st*rds that can't afford cable net access or DSL, this is for you! No javascript, no funny animation, no stupid midi or wav files, or other silly sh*t that slows down your viewing. So when you come here, it better be fast, otherwise you're going to be bored witless and go off to Ebay or somewhere…

Hey, what's with the asterisks everywhere? You some kinda prude or somethin'?:
I'm doing this for YOU, the viewer! As self-professed techie and former victim of corporate Big-Brother-ism, some of you only have net access at work, but it's monitored, some of which with special super-duper profanity checkers that pull out words like sh*t, f**k, and *%*$@*%&*@!!!!! So hopefully you'll be able to view my site without the corporate web-thugs…er, network administration personnel come banging into your cubicle, picking you up like a bag of stale potato chips, and throwing you out into the street, rendering you unemployed!

Why do you use hidden dirty words anyway? Why not use "nice" words?:
Cram it, Dumb***! See, that surprised you and had more of a comic effect, didn't it?

Hey! There's no link back to the main page!!! What do I do?
You are too stupid to live. Now go home and close your pansy-@$$ AOL browser like a good little noob.

Copyright © 2003
Last updated May 11, 2003
All Rights Reserved
Contact the idiots in charge: Do these two even look SMART enough to run this place?